I am greatly in debt. I have sinned against my Savior even since I have accepted the forgiveness. My ongoing question is this: what does it mean to be a slave to righteousness? I have been a Christian for over seven years and sometimes I fear I am still a slave to sin, a slave to my flesh. I am greatly in debt.
My debt ranges from the continuation of living by the flesh, all the way to doing things for my righteous being. So, if I am a sinner saved by grace, how is it that sometimes I still choose to sin against my Savior? If I am choosing to sin against Him, then there is no way that I am a slave to righteousness.
My reaction? Although subconscious, it is still my reaction. I have tried to do right. I have acted as righteous. I have performed acts that people have seen as righteous. I have tried to conform myself to what the world wants to see as righteous. I have tried to go without mistake, however, any ongoing sin will be brought to justice. My sin: doing right, trying to work out my own righteousness and not the righteousness of God. My sin is my attempt to pay off debt, not necessarily for the good of God, but for my own good. I feel torn like Luther was torn in his search for salvation. He served God after making a deal with Him. "God, get me out of this storm alive and I'll become a monk." Luther was a man of extremes. He was the best monk there ever was, praying more, studying more, doing everything more than the other monks. But why did he do it? He realized he despised God. He did not love God. He did not do the things he did because he loved God, but because he wanted to secure his salvation.
Luther is a major factor for why the church is the way it is today. He sought to inform people of justification through faith and not by works. Works are a proof of faith, but faith must come first. Works are the fruit of our faith in God. I am not going to go into now what it is to have faith.
So, how do I become a slave to righteousness. I do good, I have faith, but I do not feel as if I am doing this all for God. I want to be a good person. I don't want people to be disapointed in me, and I definitely don't want to hurt anyone. But this is my selfishness showing. I am to be selfless.
I think it may come down to just reflecting on how in debt I am to my God. While I was still a sinner, He died for me. He DIED. And I was still a sinner. I am still a sinner today, but now I am a sinner saved by grace. His grace is enough. His blood has already cleansed me of my debt. I cannot pay off the debt. But I can live my life for Him. The only way I can receive God's grace is by declaring bankruptcy. I am so indebted to my God that I cannot get myself out of this hole I dug deep. It is His grace that is sufficient for getting me out of the debt. There is no payment big enough to get me out of this debt other than the payment Christ made on the cross.
I want to be a slave to righteousness, but first, I must declare bankruptcy for my sin.
This is a blog of some of the conversations I have with God. I've realized that a lot of times God is speaking to me. It took a tough situation to hear Him the first time and acknowledge His voice, but I now know that if I immerse myself in His word then answers that come to me when I ask Him questions are often His voice.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
The First Steps
So, I might as well clue you in on what I have been doing so far in gaining this self-control. My mom ocassionaly reminds me that I will rarely be taken seriously as an overweight minister. Ministers are called to flow with the fruits of the Spirit, and if we're lacking in one area (self-control) we could be lacking in all others. Obesity often flows from a lack of control over eating habits. My adventure in gaining control over my eating habits starts with cutting out white flour and discovering throughout the Bible what God has to say about food. Also, my mom has me reading "The Life You Want" by Bob Greene, but so far I've only read the intro.
When I was in Eugene, OR a few weeks ago visiting my grandparents, I was walking through the neighborhood and saw a neighborhood organic garden that had been developed in an open patch of land between two houses that at one point was supposed to be a road, but they probably decided they didn't need a road there. When I walked by, all I could think was, "this is the way it's supposed to be." Now, am I right about that? I'm not sure yet. But thinking about the creation account in Genesis, God creates the earth, and with every new thing He creates, He always says it's good. Now, if God created all things good, then why don't we live like that.
Where I'm at in this adventure right now, is I'm thinking that if God created all things good, then why would some things not be good for us? Anything in excess (besides the Holy Spirit of course) is not good. Eating an excessive amount of food is gluttony. I think that God created some things good for us to eat (which give us the nutrients we need to sustain us and keep us healthy) and then some things that if we were to eat would harm our body (chemicals, steel, wood chips). Can this also be applied to the food we eat? Genesis 1:29 says "And God said, 'Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food.'" (The verse right after this is very interesting too, but I'm not going to get into vegitarian vs. carnivore stuff right now). Right now, I'm really thinking and nearly believing that God made foods affect us in certain ways. Some foods are necessary and some are not. Why do we eat the foods that are not necessary? Why do we mix certain ingredients (that can be good) together with another ingredient (which can also be good) in order to make something that has a negative effect on our body (i.e. Twinkies).
So, in my adventure for healthy eating, this is where I currently stand. I am going to eat the things God created good for me, and avoid those that can potentially harm my body.
When I was in Eugene, OR a few weeks ago visiting my grandparents, I was walking through the neighborhood and saw a neighborhood organic garden that had been developed in an open patch of land between two houses that at one point was supposed to be a road, but they probably decided they didn't need a road there. When I walked by, all I could think was, "this is the way it's supposed to be." Now, am I right about that? I'm not sure yet. But thinking about the creation account in Genesis, God creates the earth, and with every new thing He creates, He always says it's good. Now, if God created all things good, then why don't we live like that.
Where I'm at in this adventure right now, is I'm thinking that if God created all things good, then why would some things not be good for us? Anything in excess (besides the Holy Spirit of course) is not good. Eating an excessive amount of food is gluttony. I think that God created some things good for us to eat (which give us the nutrients we need to sustain us and keep us healthy) and then some things that if we were to eat would harm our body (chemicals, steel, wood chips). Can this also be applied to the food we eat? Genesis 1:29 says "And God said, 'Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food.'" (The verse right after this is very interesting too, but I'm not going to get into vegitarian vs. carnivore stuff right now). Right now, I'm really thinking and nearly believing that God made foods affect us in certain ways. Some foods are necessary and some are not. Why do we eat the foods that are not necessary? Why do we mix certain ingredients (that can be good) together with another ingredient (which can also be good) in order to make something that has a negative effect on our body (i.e. Twinkies).
So, in my adventure for healthy eating, this is where I currently stand. I am going to eat the things God created good for me, and avoid those that can potentially harm my body.
The Adventure
Well, I'm on an adventure. God hasn't only taken me out of my comfort zone, He's taken me so far outside my comfort zone that I am living in an impoverish area in Hawaii. The only white people in my neighborhood are the ones I live with. It's not safe for us to walk outside alone after dark. But God has us here. Why? I have yet to know why I am here, but I know that God is doing something in me.
I believe God puts us through seasons. In Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, Solomon writes about how there is a season for everything. In our seasons, we learn specific things from God. He tests our faith, so that we can rely on Him more and more (James 1:2-4).
The season I am in now is learning self-control. Now, having the label of a controlling person is never good. God does not say we are to be controlling. No, He wants us to give Him complete control of our lives. But self-control is different. Paul says that "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" (Gal 5:22-23, emphasis added). My adventure is to find out what it is to be a self-controlled person.
My goals is to have self-control, especially in these areas:
-physical health
-time management
-eating habits
-relationships with others
-finances
So, you can either join me on this adventure, sit back and enjoy the ride, or think it's like any of those other posts about someone wanting to get healthy, or live for Jesus type of deal. Let me tell you this: Our God has a purpose for everything. He did not create the world as just a mediocre waiting place for us until we go to heaven. He created it good, and He said we are "very good." Go, read the creation account in the first three chapters of Genesis and decide for yourself what kind of god He is.
I believe God puts us through seasons. In Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, Solomon writes about how there is a season for everything. In our seasons, we learn specific things from God. He tests our faith, so that we can rely on Him more and more (James 1:2-4).
The season I am in now is learning self-control. Now, having the label of a controlling person is never good. God does not say we are to be controlling. No, He wants us to give Him complete control of our lives. But self-control is different. Paul says that "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" (Gal 5:22-23, emphasis added). My adventure is to find out what it is to be a self-controlled person.
My goals is to have self-control, especially in these areas:
-physical health
-time management
-eating habits
-relationships with others
-finances
So, you can either join me on this adventure, sit back and enjoy the ride, or think it's like any of those other posts about someone wanting to get healthy, or live for Jesus type of deal. Let me tell you this: Our God has a purpose for everything. He did not create the world as just a mediocre waiting place for us until we go to heaven. He created it good, and He said we are "very good." Go, read the creation account in the first three chapters of Genesis and decide for yourself what kind of god He is.
Labels:
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